I have been informed that two of my audiobooks on Audible are currently on sale.
Two Necromancers, a Dragon, and a Vampire will be on sale until the 30th of April.
Cosmic Delivery Boy will be on sale until the 26th of April (I only found out this morning…).
Timmy liked to be honest with himself. After all, lying to yourself usually ended in blood, tears, and all sorts of unpleasantness. That was why he was only too happy to admit that he was very much enjoying himself right now.
Students at the Academy were the best of the best, and that meant testing them wasn’t always easy. Setting aside oddities like Katie who was a recognised war hero despite being a teenager, it wasn’t that unusual for Academy students to have experience in dealing with bandits, ruins, and other adventuring-related matters. The usual field exercise of dumping them in the wilderness to survive against wild animals for a few days wasn’t going to do anything except waste their time.
Instead, he had been asked to come up with a more… real-world scenario.
His weapon of choice?
A staged attack on the student dormitories using zombies…. lots and lots of zombies.
And while watching the whole debacle unfold through the eyes of his undead minions, Timmy was hard-pressed not to cackle, especially since Katie had decapitated one of his zombie elites and was busy cursing at him through it in a manner that would have made Avraniel proud.
Ah, the wonders of a thorough education.
“Zombies!” Jason turned and ran down the corridor. “Help! Zombies!”
Alas, his cries for help were unanswered as the rest of the boys’ dormitory was also under siege by the undead. There were hundreds of them. They had broken through the windows, laid siege to the exits, and even come through the walls. They were everywhere! Not far off, some poor bastard went down under a dozen zombies and was dragged off.
“Stop screaming!” someone shouted. “And help, you idiot!”
Jason scrabbled for his sword, only to remember that he’d left it behind in his room, along with his pants. At the moment, he was dressed in his underwear, and the closest thing he had to a weapon was a chair leg from the chair he’d broken over the head of a zombie earlier.
“Crap!” He wailed. “Isn’t the Academy supposed to be warded against zombies? How are there so many here?”
The flash of fire and lightning was accompanied by the rush of water and ice.
“Who cares how it happened?” someone roared. “Just keep killing them! We can worry about what to do next when we’re not knee-deep in zombies!”
Jason punched a zombie in the head and yanked the club out of its hands. It was better than the chair leg. “Fine! They’re just zombies. Who cares if we’re outnumbered. We can handle them!”
And that was when the zombie hydra decided to make its presence known.
“…”
Katie covered her face with her hands as the girls’ dormitory descended into bedlam. There were zombies everywhere, with anyone unable to fend them off being dragged away into the night.
“What’s happening?” Evelyn shouted. “Why are there zombies?”
Katie sighed. “This is a test. My master is controlling the zombies.”
“What?” Rather than being comforted, Evelyn seemed even more panicked. “We’re being attacked by a Grand Necromancer? What are we going to do?”
“We’re going to fight,” Katie growled. “Now, calm down. The whole point of this test is to see how we react to…” She trailed off as more screaming rang out as a zombie great eagle flew past. “Never mind. Follow me and do what I say.”
Author’s Notes
It’s important to point out that nobody died during this test. The people who got dragged off were dumped into vats of non-toxic (but highly unpleasant) slime to make them understand they were ‘dead’. It’s the same stuff Timmy used to threaten Katie with. As for the damage and injuries, Vicky can fix all of that in a jiffy.
Still, you can bet Timmy was laughing his ass off watching the kids get overrun by zombies. Meanwhile, Katie is trying to lead a counter attack against someone who is not only a Grand Necromancer and a master tactician and strategies but who also knows all of her habits and preferences. Fun times for her. The kids are lucky, though. I could have been worse. Timmy could have gotten Avraniel to help.
But, yeah, this is part of what makes the Academy great. They go all out when it comes to education and testing.
There was something like this during Timmy’s day, and he ended up forming a team with Vicky and James to blast their way through the exam.
Getting your ass kicked is important.
I mean this both figuratively and literally. I have been kicked in the head, punched in the face, and come off second best in spars that probably went a bit further than just spars. I have also found myself on the losing side in intellectual endeavours where I gave my absolute all, did nothing wrong, and still came off second best.
And I think I’m better off for having gone through those experiences.
As a people watcher, former tutor, former childcare worker, and former university lecturer, I have seen all the different ways that people respond to losing. I firmly believe that losing when you’re younger is an important part of learning how to handle losing, so that you do not just crumble when you’re older.
I have seen many people who are used to winning, so used to winning that by the time they get to university they don’t even know what losing feels like. Almost all of them struggled bitterly when they lost or came up against a challenge they simply weren’t able to meet. They simply hadn’t built up the same resilience that people who’ve lost before have.
I firmly believe this is why so many high achievers in high school struggle in university. Compared to the challenges offered by university, high school tends to be easier and less competitive. In many cases, there is always an answer, one that you can reach if you study and work hard enough.
However, when it comes to actual research, the sort you will have to conduct as an Honours, Masters, or PhD student – to say nothing of the work you’ll have to carry out as a postgraduate or in the workplace – there may not be a right answer. Indeed, in the real world, you can do everything right, make all the correct moves, and still lose. That is simply how the world is.
Learning to handle failure is particularly important in creative disciplines. Let me tell you this right now. If you’re going to be a writer, you will fail.
You will fail a lot.
And that’s okay.
Because failing tells you what you’re doing wrong. Failing lets you know when you’re on the wrong track. Failing is how you can tell that what you’re doing isn’t right.
It’s all right to fail because each of those failures gets you that much closer to success. Believe me, I know. I’ve been there.
Don’t ever be ashamed of failing if you gave it everything you have. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s easy to mock those who fail, but there are so many who lack the courage to even try or who give up the minute things get hard.
It’s telling, I think, that the greatest people aren’t usually considered great because they never faced adversity but because they found a way to keep going despite that adversity.
Failing sucks. It hurts. But in the end, people don’t remember how many times you failed. They remember how many times you managed to win. If a writer fails a thousand times but writes a single masterpiece, they will absolutely be remembered for that masterpiece, and not all the drafts that never quite made it or all the ideas that never saw the light of day.
Don’t be afraid of failure. Otherwise, you will never be able to succeed.
Katie had always been a curious person. There was, of course, that famous saying about curiosity killing the cat, but she wasn’t a cat… and she had a small army of ninja rats who would gladly drag curiosity outside and stab it to death if it so much as looked at her funny. That said, her curiosity had once again gotten her into trouble, not unlike the time she’d expressed an interest in how her master became so good at picking locks manually.
Cue multiple sessions of being locked in a cage over a vat of slime with a set of lock picks.
To be fair, the slime wasn’t really that dangerous. It felt icky and smelled gross, but it was otherwise harmless. A quick bath was more than enough to deal with the consequences. In contrast, her master had learned from his master using a similar method… except it had been acid under the cage.
Yeah.
In any case, it was hard to argue with the results. In her eagerness to avoid being dropped into the slime, Katie had learned how to pick locks with incredible speed, and the skill had proven to be very handy indeed over the years. Yes, she could just smash most doors down with her magic, but there were times when subtlety was required and when magic was not an option.
More recently, Katie had expressed curiosity about the Student Council of the Academy. As the most prestigious learning institution in the country – arguably the world – it wasn’t all that surprising that the faculty allowed the students a certain degree of self-governance. After all, the students were the best of the best, the aspiring experts and leaders of the future. Managing their own affairs to some degree should be child’s play for them.
After examining the various positions on offer, Katie had decided that she would throw her hat into the ring for the position of treasurer. She was good with money, and it would allow her to involve herself in student affairs without having to do too much work. Technically speaking, it wasn’t necessary for the treasurer to stand for election. Instead, the president of the student council was usually allowed to nominate the treasurer of their choice. However, it was considered good form for prospective treasures to stand for election anyway to demonstrate their willingness to be scrutinised by the student body.
So Katie had added her name to the list of students vying for a spot on the student council…
Only to find out a few weeks later that she had somehow been elected as president of the student council.
She’d been horrified. Her? President? How? She hadn’t even campaigned, and the position of president was supposed to go to whoever got the most votes! She’d asked the rats if they’d done anything, but they had all denied taking action. Instead, they had suggested that it was only natural for the students to choose her as their leader, given her outstanding abilities and hard-won experience. She’d then asked her master if the whole thing was a prank of his, but he’d denied doing anything either while doing his best to hold back his laughter at her combination of outrage and incredulity.
At her wits end, she’d asked her friends and instructors why anybody would vote for her when she didn’t even campaign.
Their response?
She was an actual, real-life war hero.
She had the best grades in the academy.
She had yet to lose a duel against any other student and had made short work of several instructors too.
Also, her decision to not campaign was apparently ‘cool’ and an indication of her ‘incredible confidence and composure’.
…
So now Katie was student council president. It wasn’t all bad. Being student council president did come with a lot of nifty privileges, such as access to certain archives, laboratories, and other facilities that were not available to the general student body. She was also willing to admit that seeing so many competent people obeying her commands was oddly gratifying, and it was nice being referred to as President Katie.
In any case, the position came with a lot of work. Thankfully, it was the sort of work she was familiar with. Organising events, wrangling various individuals, and balancing budgets were all skills she had acquired throughout her training as a necromancer. If anything, it was easier than her usual work since she didn’t have to worry about a rebellious zombie trying to bite her face off.
However, the last few weeks had been especially busy. With the Academy Festival coming up, it was up to her to make sure that everything ran smoothly and that all of the various exhibits, stalls, and other events organised by the students were ready in time. In keeping with the Academy’s excellent standards, the overwhelming majority of students were doing the right thing. However, there were also a few… miscreants.
Katie glanced up from her paperwork as Evelyn continued to play fetch with Patches. Theoretically, her friend had come to keep her company while she finished up some paperwork. In truth, however, she’d mostly come to hang out with the zombie dog. For all that Patches might not be the smartest zombie or dog around, he was incredibly affectionate, and he had a knack for lifting people’s spirits.
“Oh, you might want speak to Janine and Samantha later,” Evelyn said as Patches ran around her in quick, happy circles before chasing after the little ball she threw.
“Do I even want to know why I’d need to speak to them?” Katie asked. Janine and Samantha belonged to two different noble families. Their families had, apparently, disliked each other since before Everton had gained independence from the empire and had spent the vast majority of their history trying to tear each other down.
“They had a duel earlier today.”
“…” Katie sighed. “Nobody is fatally wounded, right? It would be such a hassle if either of them ended up dead.”
Evelyn giggled. “No. They at least had the good sense to call an instructor to oversee their duel, so while they’re both in bad shape, neither of them are likely to have any permanent injuries.”
Katie scowled. “This is the third time this semester. It’s getting annoying.” She rubbed her chin. “Spot is coming to visit next week… maybe I could ask him to threaten them.”
Evelyn grinned. “Being threatened by a dragon does tend to work wonders.”
“Still, I can’t rely on him to threaten everyone who steps out of line… and knowing how annoying those two can be, he might actually end up eating them.” Katie made a face. “I’ll speak to them this evening.”
“And by speak to them?” Evelyn asked.
“Not like this.” Katie gestured vaguely at the room around them. “Like this.”
Suddenly, the room was transformed into a nightmarish vista of twisting shadows, tenebrous teeth and claws, and writhing, jagged pillars of living darkness that hinted at the primordial secrets that lurked in the long, hungry darkness that awaited beyond even the furthest edges of the night.
And then, just as quickly as they’d appeared, the shadows vanished.
“You know,” Evelyn said, shuddering. “That’s kind of creepy.”
“So I’ve been told. But I’ve tried reasoning with them, so terror and nightmares it is. Maybe this time, they’ll actually listen.”
Author’s Notes
Katie is from Unconventional Heroes, and Evelyn appeared in a previous snippet.
Even after the war, Katie’s struggle isn’t over. Whether it’s paperwork, wrangling other students, or organising events, there’s always something to do.
As an aside, Vicky was student council president during her day. She ruled with a smile and an iron fist in that she is totally the kind of person who could kick the absolute crap out of anyone while smiling and being polite. Timmy was the treasurer. Much like Katie, Vicky’s election was essentially a foregone conclusion, and she may or may not have allowed Timmy to make use of the facilities she got access to.
Also, if Spot ever attends the Academy, he will one hundred percent try to get elected and then insist on being called Supreme Dragon President Spot.
After years of faithful service, I have finally retired my Samsung Galaxy S7. The old boy really gave it his all. Whether it was playing Pokemon Go, watching videos, playing music, sending emails, or surfing the web, he did everything.
Alas, recent changes in Australia’s mobile networks have left him adrift, an old relic in a time of newer, shinier things. Let none say that he failed first. Nay! It was the 3G network and 4G protocols that failed him first!
Hold your head up high, my friend. Stand proud. Unbroken and unbowed, loyal to the last, a phone like no other. People will ask if you were a good phone, and I will tell them no. You were the best.
May my new Samsung A35 serve as faithfully as you.
Death before dishonour.
Loyalty without end.
A phone without compare.
May fair winds and following seas be ever at your side, old friend, a legend from your first day until your last.
P. S. I’m not trading in my old S7 or anything. He’s earned a spot on the shelf.
Note: Check the date.
“The war is not going as well as we’d hoped,” Timmy drawled. “In particular, we appear to be running out of money.”
“Can’t we just go rob a bunch of bandits or something?” Avraniel asked. Spot made a sound of agreement and continued to munch on a slab of well-cooked beef. “It’s not like they’ll need the money in prison or in the afterlife.”
“Unfortunately, you and Spot have already robbed all of the bandits in the country, along with almost all of the bandits in neighbouring countries. It’s gotten so bad that the remaining bandits have started using banks.”
“…” Avraniel scowled. “Bastards. Maybe we can rob those banks…”
“Thankfully, I have come up with a solution.” Timmy nodded sagely. “Are you familiar with the concept of branded merchandise?”
Old Man took a sip of his tea and then spoke. “I believe so. I have attended a number of large tournaments over the years, and it was not unusual for especially popular warriors to sell items related to them. For example, there was one swordsman who would sell wooden swords made to resemble his own weapon. They were aimed at children, I believe.”
“Exactly,” Timmy said. “As you know, I have quite a few contacts throughout the merchant world. Some of them specialise in branded merchandise, and it seems our exploits have not only made us quite famous but also very popular.”
“Are you suggesting that we sell branded merchandise related to ourselves?” Amanda asked. “That seems a little… odd.”
“I’ve been assured that it can be quite profitable,” Timmy replied. “Gerald, I had you run the numbers. How did they look?”
The bureaucrat nodded and gave a brief summary of the projected earnings. “As you can see, it would appear that we stand to earn a considerable sum of money if we pursue this.”
Avraniel rubbed her hands together gleefully, and Spot had stopped eating as he tried to make sense of what he’d heard. “So… you’re telling me that we can sell a bunch of crap related to us and make an absolute crap load of money every month for doing basically nothing?”
“That’s the idea, yes. Some of it would, of course, help fund the war effort, but even with that portion removed, our own earnings would be substantial,” Timmy replied.
“I have been wanting to purchase more rare corpses,” Katie murmured. “And there are a lot of ancient tomes I’ve been meaning to get…”
“Building golems isn’t cheap,” Daerin added.
I can add to my hoard! Spot grinned.
“We can give it a try,” Timmy said. “Besides, aren’t you curious to know who’ll sell the most merchandise?”
“It’s obviously going to be me,” Avraniel said. “I’m way more awesome than all of you losers.” Spot huffed. “Oh, I’m not calling you a loser, Spot. You’re awesome too. They’re the losers.”
“Hey!” Katie grumbled. “How do you know you’ll sell the most? What if I sell more than you?”
“As if.” Avraniel snickered. “That’s not happening.”
It was another two months before the first set of merchandise released and another month before the first sales figures came back.
“This is a load of crap,” Avraniel growled. “How is the twerp selling more stuff than me?”
“Apparently, Katie-themed hoodies and backpacks are extremely popular,” Timmy said. “Not to mention Katie-themed mugs, glasses, and notebooks.” He paused. “And don’t get me started on the Katie-themed ladders and step stools.”
“I’m more amazed at what Spot was able to accomplish.” Amanda stared at the numbers in front of them in disbelief. “Spot-themed plush toys made more money than the rest of us combined.”
The dragon was silent as he imagined just how much bigger his hoard was going to be.
“At least I beat the paper pusher,” Avraniel grumbled. “But come on… even the ninja rats beat me! How is that possible? I didn’t even know they had merchandise!”
Timmy shrugged. “I thought it might be fun to add them. It turns out there’s a big market for rat-themed merchandise when the aforementioned rats are ninjas.”
I am indeed still alive.
If the first audiobook (which combines Books 1 and 2) from the Unconventional Heroes series disappears from your library, do not panic. There may be a good explanation for that.
That book was part of the Audible Plus program. However, it is no longer part of that program. As a result, if you got the book through your Audible Plus subscription, it will no longer be in your library. At least, that is my understanding. If, however, you purchased it normally (e.g., with a credit), then it should still be there.
I have checked, and the book is definitely still available for purchase. It has not been removed from Audible. It seems as though you’ll have to pick it up again, using a credit or money. Keep in mind, this is only for people who got it through Audible Plus. I do not think people who purchased it in the regular way are affected.
Please, correct me if I’m wrong.
As an aside, membership in the Audible Plus program is usually for a set time period, after which a book may be removed from the program. It can be added again later, but I have no idea when/if that might be.
What if Spot was a different type of dragon…?
Katie’s eyes narrowed. Despite how sunny it was outside, there was a cloud directly above her. That alone might have been bad luck, but the cloud was following her.
“Master…” Katie nudged him with her elbow. “I think that cloud is following me.”
He gave her a flat look. “The cloud is following you?”
“Yes.” Katie looked about furtively. “We’ve been out all day, and it’s been right on top of us the whole time.”
“Katie, I’m pretty sure that clouds have better things to do than to trouble you.” He paused. “Although… give me a second. I just need to check something.”
Avraniel was capable of being incredibly petty. So when Spot had revealed that he’d recently developed the ability to control a single cloud, the first thing she’d thought of was a prank. And who better to prank than the twerp?
“Good work, Spot.” Avraniel leaned over to scratch the dragon’s scales. His scales were a patchwork of blues, silvers, greys, and blacks – the colours you might find in a storm. One day, he’d be able to call up storms capable of smashing kingdoms and sinking fleets. But right now, a single cloud was his limit. “Keep on following the twerp.”
Spot snickered, and his brows furrowed in concentration. Controlling the cloud got harder the further away it was, and it also got harder the more he had to force it to deviate from what it would normally doing. Right now, there was a brisk southern wind trying to blow it away, so keeping it over the twerp was hard. When he was bigger and stronger, he could just control the wind, but he still had a lot of growing to do.
“Don’t worry about her getting mad at you,” Avraniel said. “We can just say it was all my idea.”
He chirped happily, and little sparks of electricity crackled over his body. His lightning breath was certainly impressive, but it really wasn’t suitable for pranks, not until he had better control over it. At the moment, it was all or nothing. He could either summon just enough electricity to make people’s hair stand on end, or he could spit a bolt of lightning that would explode a tree into kindling. Unfortunately, his range on the former was only a few feet while the latter attack could hit targets up to a mile away with decent accuracy.
She noticed movement beside them and turned to find a zombie squirrel watching the two of them intently. Since the twerp hadn’t immediately turned around to yell at them, it must belong to the idiot. She reached over and picked up the little rodent.
“Yeah, it’s us. Spot needs to practice controlling clouds, so I thought it would be fun if we shadowed the twerp for a bit.”
The zombie squirrel somehow managed to convey how little he believed that explanation.
“Just use this as a teaching moment. Get the twerp to make a zombie squirrel and see if she can trace the magic in the cloud back to us.”
The zombie squirrel tilted its head to the side, considering, and she knew she’d managed to convince him. Nodding once, it hopped off the roof and scampered back toward the idiot and the twerp.
Avraniel smirked. “Come on, Spot. We need to get moving. I want to know if you can move and control the cloud. Plus, that should make the twerp finding us a little trickier.”
In the future…
Tabitha glanced at the horizon. According to the weather forecast for the Academy and its surroundings, it was supposed to be sunny today. However, there was a vast squall line closing in on the city. Dark clouds towered up into the sky, and bolts of lightning crackled back and forth. The wind had begun to pick up, and she could practically taste the rain that was about to fall.
And then, almost as suddenly as it had appeared, the gathering storm dispersed, and the clear, sunny skies she had expected arrived. A winged shape dropped through the clouds and angled toward her. She giggled as the other students took one look at the new arrival and fled.
Spot landed in front of her with earth-shaking force. Lightning crackled over his scales, and she reached up to pat her hair down before it could get too frizzy. The electricity subsided, and he bounded over to her with a grin on his face.
I’m here!
“Did you have to bring a storm with you?” she asked, giggling.
Spot shrugged. I wanted to make sure you knew I was about to arrive, and I got rid of it before it hit the city. He made a dismissive gesture with one wing. It’s fine.
“Spot…” The Supreme Cleric walked over and raised an eyebrow. “I thought we had already discussed the proper decorum when visiting the Academy.”
Spot did his best to look cute and adorable, which wasn’t as easy as it had once been since he was now roughly fifty feet long. Oops?
Author’s Notes
What if Spot was a tempest dragon? Well, this is how things might play out. For reference, tempest dragons belong to the same branch as storm dragons, and they have dominion over the weather and weather-related phenomena. In addition to breathing fire, they also possess the ability to breathe lightning. This manifests in the form of lightning bolts, which they spit from their mouths. As a projectile, these lightning bolts possess outstanding speed and range. However, learning to aim them properly can be difficult, and they do not do a lot of splash damage.
In terms of ‘evolution’ it goes:
Weather Dragon => Cloud Dragon => Storm Dragon => Squall Dragon => Tempest Dragon
A tempest dragon that ascends into a dragon lord would, at the very least, have the ability to create continent-wide storms, possibly even planet-wide storms. That said, tempest dragons are better at large-scale area-of-effect damage rather than single-target damage. For single-target damage, something like an empyreal dragon would be more dangerous. An empyreal dragon lord could erase an entire mountain from existence with a single attack with relative ease. Tempest dragons (and the associated types) are also excellent fliers. In terms of pure aerial combat, they are probably one of the top five lineages of dragons.
Haven’t been posting lately due to internet issues. I also had to go to emergency due to what they think was an adverse reaction to a bite or sting of some kind I got while hanging out my laundry in the backyard.
Big bump on my shin that swelled up considerably but has been easing off. Right ankle is still swollen but not quite as badly as before. Blister on the back of the leg had to be drained. Red skin, inflammation, and altered skin texture in the area too.
I’m on antihistamines and antibiotics, and I got a tetanus shot.
Sigh.
Whatever it was, it happened on early Saturday afternoon and then really flared up Sunday afternoon before getting rapidly more inflamed/worse on Sunday night. Called the advice line, and they suggested going to emergency due to how it was progressing.
Next time I go into the backyard, I’m wearing full boots, long socks, pants, and a jacket…
L. G. Estrella 